 Orenda [P] [• READ THIS TITLE •]
Genre(s): Spiritual,
Free Form,
Politics•Language: English
Author: Sandy Lulay
Brief Synopsis
Orenda is the supernatural force believed by the Iroquois Indians to be present, in varying degrees, in all objects or persons. It is also believed to be the spiritual force by which human accomplishment is attained or accounted for.
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Author Notes
The promoters of Woodstock, NY used the legends of the Iroquois to attract artists beginning in 1900. Any artist visiting Woodstock would be blessed by increased talent. Woodstock was officially named our first art colony in 1906.
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Reviews
Malcolm Sterling : I like this poem but I wanted more.
There was a wonderful pattern and rythmn to the cadence and repeated phrases but there were places that needed more explanation.
Example: "I lost my heart to Orenda the night I saw a deer,
Blinded by poachers’ lights, murdered for money."
How were you witnessing this murder? Where you a small child following in the footsteps of a father's ritual? Where you an innocent just hanging out at a park and saw a poacher cross your path? This line made me wonder what and where it originated. But not in a good way, but in a way that made me say, huh, how was this witnessed? It took me out of the poem.
I also think the refrain Orenda could/should be used at the start of every stansa. It will bring the entire poem together in a single voice like the front rather than trailing off at the end stansas without it.
Consider this revision and see if it doesn't seem more in tune with the spirit of the poetry?
"..
Orenda
Is said to be the magic of the earth turning
In spite of man’s afflicted need
To break the light of atoms in war.
Orenda
Of men unable to hear a green mind speak.
Orenda
lost my heart to the night
I saw a deer, blinded by poachers’ lights,
murdered for money.
Orenda
Its spirit rose from the shape of its death
and spoke to me.
"Power is not what you think!"
.."
This of course is a quick review of the poem and given as something to consider. I still like it but when you have a good thing going, like you did at the beginning of the poem, I think you should stick with it. Especially for something short. The repetition does not get old.
Now if you expound upon some of the narrative elements in the poem this approach may not work as well. What do you think? (12-Nov-07)
Author Reply: "A lot of good thoughts here. A lot of times I assume the reader knows what I'm thinking- very easy to do in a short poem. Yes, I was a small child... good point! I'm glad you wanted more! I will definately work on a redo- without compromising the "magic"." (13-Nov-07)
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