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"Where writers go to be read.
Where readers go to be inspired."
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- This Week's Featured Author -  Mercy ManicMember Since: 26-Sep-06 Mini-Bio:I started writing at 16 with dreams of becoming the next Rice, or King. Life intruded forcefully with the need to simply survive and my dreams got lost in the shuffle. Now at 34, I'm rediscovering that love of story.
All feedback appreciated. Fiction : Dark Fantasy - Title: Unguardian - ProlougeSynopsis: This whole book is being rethought and lots of new layers and detail has been added
Fiction : Drama,
Short Short,
General -
Title: Storm Drenched Harlot
Synopsis: A piece I did for a flash fiction contest on another site. The requirements are that it be less than 500 words, on the subject (City Smells.)
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The Muse has selected these fine titles for you.
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Fiction:
Author: Sghoul
Title: Victoria City Heroes - Chapter 3
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Category: Fiction, Genre(s): Science Fiction
Brief Synopsis:
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Last 3 Review(s)
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Tara Nicholas : Thank you for sharing this story. I hope there is more, eventually.
This chapter seemed a little too forced. It felt like you were rushing ahead to get to the "good" stuff and simply info dumped the back story for the reader.
Take some time and consider other ways to present this history. Perhaps Pyramid and Jester are having a conversation and little bits come out in the telling.
Perhaps as Jester is walking through the room (which also felt like an info dump) it brings up memories of his time in Aztec. You don't have to say everything about the character's backstory all at once. Only say a little bit and present more details, or even a completely new memory/history, later.
I'm enjoying this world and your characters but they seem to lack subtly and flavor in their telling. It's like Friday says, "Just the facts, please."
Your imagination is very vivid and I love the switch to go to different dimensions - Nowhere! That's great.
Please continue and I look forward to the next chapter but don't be afraid to take time with the story, paragraphs, and characters. It's not a race. :) (23-Aug-07)
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Author: Gojiro
Title: The Last Wait
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Category: Fiction, Genre(s): Fantasy,
Short Short,
Short Story
Brief Synopsis: A quick short that's been banging around in my head awhile. Fantasy, kinda. Adult themes.
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Last 3 Review(s)
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Mesquite : I'm new to the site- so catching up. You have a great imagination and I would love to read more of your writing in this new year! I agree with Kyrsa- lots to think about here. (17-Jan-08)
Author Reply: "Thank you for your kind words on this piece and the others! " (17-Jan-08)
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Kyrsa Vadalis : This is a vividly emotional piece of writing. I find myself thinking about it hours after having read it. (27-Dec-07)
Author Reply: "Thank you! " (17-Jan-08)
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Mercy Manic : This was beautiful and melancholic. A vivid portrayal of a life in just a few words, with an ending as dignified as it is tragic. I was touched. (19-Oct-06)
Author Reply: "Wow, thanks! And thank you for reading!" (19-Oct-06)
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Non-Fiction:
Author: Mercy Manic
Title: Where the dreams come from
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Category: Non-Fiction, Genre(s): Article
Brief Synopsis:
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Last 3 Review(s)
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scrapsoflife : I agree that this is a lovely introduction to an idea but needs more concrete information to balance the ethereal. A pleasurable read to be certain. (Makes me want to take the Yeats from the shelf and spend an evening in faery myself.) (27-Mar-07)
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Sandy Lulay : Beautiful! As one of those who dream, I felt you were speaking to me! Many of my poems have been inspired by "listening" to the earth signs "speak". (20-Feb-07)
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Malcolm Sterling : This entire article has a dreamy almost surreal quality to it. I'm not sure the crux of the message came across as strong as you might have intended because of this.
While I enjoyed it, my mind kept wandering away from the content to the visual.
In this instance I think this article would benefit from more direct examples and expresssions. Your point kinda gets lost in the fog of the isles.
That's just me though. Perhaps I spent too much time in faery and have become mad?
Your style is strong and smooth. I'm not sure I grasp the overall meaning of the article though. I'll read it again.
I really like the line, "It rends our hearts and exhausts our souls."
But the second paragraph could use some more concrete examples of how to find the messages left in song and story. How do we get to the point where we can find them, when we are looking for them?
Does this make sense? Thanks for listening. I hope this is helpful. (26-Jan-07)
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Author: Malcolm Sterling
Title: The Betrayer
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Category: Non-Fiction, Genre(s): Essay
Brief Synopsis: This is an essay I wrote as a response to the precepts of writing in an English course.
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Last 3 Review(s)
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Sandy Lulay : Your essay says what every writing teacher tries to teach hopeful students- writing is a craft and a craft must be practiced, practiced, practiced! I learned this the hard way when I stopped writing for over three years to cook and care for 3 elderly relatives. At first I did not realize I was not writing- that I was too exhausted to focus on creative thought. Then I felt like I had fallen down a well with no escape (death of my charges was the escape). In this time two of my friends published novels after working hard learning and writing every day. Writing is a craft we must practice like playing the panio, guitar, singing or ballet. Just like people can steal your time and thoughts, procrastination is an even more devious thief. (07-Jul-07)
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scrapsoflife : Okay, how did you manage to make p.3 blank and p.4 talk about the blank page? If it was intentional, bravo for the visual clues; if not, then the computer might have a curious mind of its own! I do sort of feel like I've been smacked across the knuckles with a yard-stick, though--very good admonishment for us procrastinators. (23-Mar-07)
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A.C. Millicent : I appreciated your comparison of honing the craft of writing to that of practicing music. As a singer, I know that I am at my best when I've rehearsed so much that I know every word and every note. It's then when I can open up and express the emotion and depth of the music. Otherwise, it seems forced or vacant. (13-Mar-07)
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Poetry:
Author: M. Edward Crosby
Title: Alone
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Category: Poetry, Genre(s): Free Form
Brief Synopsis: A feeling anyone can experience when they think they are alone.
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Last 3 Review(s)
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thelliott : I think I've written tons of poems with the word Alone in the title or repeated throughout. So really, you aren't alone. (15-Feb-07)
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Sandy Lulay : I think feelings expressed in poetic form becom the most rememered poems. We read each other works and are inspired. The improtant thing is to keep writing, writing, writing- I could relate to Alone- (18-Oct-06)
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Author: Sandy Lulay
Title: Rainwater Eyes
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Category: Poetry, Genre(s): Spiritual,
Politics
Brief Synopsis:
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Last 3 Review(s)
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A.C. Millicent : Great poem! I could see her sitting there. I could feel her pain. I have strong feelings regarding the plight of Native Americans, and this poem reflected some of those feelings for me. (18-Mar-07)
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S. Gaia Chapin : I like this too. It's sweet and sad at the same time. I can see her moving with the words. (11-Nov-06)
Author Reply: "Thanks for the lovely comment. " (11-Nov-06)
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Mercy Manic : This is my new favorite from you! I'm going to remember the images of ban-aid dollars and white bones forever. (29-Oct-06)
Author Reply: "Thanks! I wrote this for my first husband's Great-grandmother. It is one of my personal favorites also. " (29-Oct-06)
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